Random Thoughts..

Posted on February 19, 2010

I had a photoshoot today that was rescheduled. So, I’m sitting in Starbucks with a Vanilla Rooibos tea, people watching, sipping, munching on a Kind bar, typing. I have to say… I kinda feel legit. You know, the self employed business person who goes to Starbucks to get serious work done. That’s me. Super serious. Super hard working.

Yep.

Except for the fact that every little baby or toddler who comes in with their parents makes me want to squish them! And the homeless man staring at me makes me want to buy him a coffee.. but he already has one. And the loud baristas make me kind of want to work here.

Kind of.

So, work may not be the thing I am doing here, but I am enjoying myself immensely.

Random Thoughts for this week..
*Vanilla Rooibos Tea is divine! That is, when mixed with 2 honey’s and a splash of half and half.

*My daughter went to bed with black tights on… And sparkly eyeshadow. She cracks me up in all sorts of ways. I wonder daily what God is molding her little self to be. Pray for me.. I’m not sure what to do with her most of those days.

*My garage smells like cigars. Rocky Patel’s to be exact.

*Those petition signers outside of stores scare the life out of me. I almost left a store parking lot today because I saw one particularly pushy one that never ever seems to leave his post. Never.

Don’t worry.. I put my big girl pants on and told him No, thank you!!

And then I ran away…

*I have had a lot of tea, and need to use the restroom. But Sbux is so crowded today that if I leave my table, I will be assured of its occupancy by someone other than me. So, I will hold it.

*The beautiful lavendar roses my hubs got for me on Valentine’s Day have already kicked the bucket. What, oh what did I do wrong?? The pink ones we bought for our daughter.. perfectly beautiful. It’s a mystery people.

*Maybe I’m slow but I have recently become aware of the ego-centric nature of Twitter and Facebook. My fast from it had a lot to do with these new feelings.. Sometimes the pride of the posts actually makes me squirm uncomfortably. I pray that I don’t come across that way.

*For you see, I am ever learning, ever growing in knowledge, and ever awestruck of how far I have to go on this journey with Jesus. So so far.

So so glad He is here to help me.

What was your week filled with? I hope lots and lots of random. That is the crazy stuff that makes our lives here fun!! Ok, I am making a break for the bathroom.. wish me luck!

Love Random!

Where’s My Starbucks cup at??

Posted on February 12, 2010

So, I had a few friends tell me recently that my Starbucks cup (ceramic mug, or to go cup) makes an appearance in a few of my mobile pictures.

I thought about that and agreed. It certainly does.

Am I addicted to Sbux?? Well, I used to be for sure. But now, I am off of sugar and caffiene (for the most part) so those substances don’t have the same pull they used to. You know the feeling.. where every afternoon you can practically taste that Iced Carmel Macchiato, and the need for one will cause you to do almost anything to get one?? I have a very addicitve personality so if there is something a person can get addicted to, chances are I avoid it.

No Dr. Kaiser.. no Vicodin for me.

No Mr. Starbucks..

No Party People…

Does this mean I think everyone who does the above is wrong?? Absolutely not.. please don’t misunderstand.. I just know myself and the devastation I can do if left to my own devices. (Insert a huge prayer of praise for the Mighty God who redeems me daily!!!)

So, back to the point.. My Starbucks cup goes a lot of places with me, and I thought I would start putting a few here and there to document the when’s and the where’s.

Today.. my cup.. filled with delish Candy Cane Green Tea watched my ever favorite author/speaker/mentor from afar with me.

It was good. (The tea and the message..)

Where is your cup going with you??
Awww yeah!!

http://img158.yfrog.com/i/mdoi.jpg/

Thoughts..

Posted on February 3, 2010

It is cold in this house. Candles have been lit to create the pretense of warmth. Hands are grasping a steaming cup of decaf. Feet are snuggled in a pair of the rattiest (and most comfortable) leopard print slippers. I know.. my fashion sense is too much for you to handle. Don’t hate me because I am on top of the trends.

But it is quiet. Quiet except for the clicking of my keyboard. Quiet except for the slight hum of electronics. Quiet except for my daughter’s crazy hamster running amuck in her cage. Quiet except for my thoughts.

And oh, how I have many of them. So very many.

If you read this blog, you will know that I undertook a 3 week social media fast. I honestly didn’t think it took up that much of my time. But what I discovered was something even more interesting/concerning. The few hours a day I spent on social media wasn’t the only time it took up space in my brain. My eyes were opened to just how much this comparison to others was affecting me.. and how, long after I was off the computer, my brain gave room to those destructive thoughts.

The I’m never going to be good enough thoughts..
The I can’t do what they do thoughts..
The I should really just give this up thoughts..
The what if I fail thoughts..

These thoughts can be related to photography, as that is the majority of twitter-ers I follow. But of course my role as a homemaker is not immune to those thoughts. Nor my role as a child of God.

See, God is good. And He knows me so well.. better than I know my own self. He knew what my thoughts were doing. He is the One who prompted the break. And during that break, I was able to fill my brain space with His truth.

I am Sarah.. the one He fearfully planned and wonderfully created.
I am a flawed human who is being redeemed by His love every day.
I love babies and light and sparkly eyes and photography.
I am good at what I do.
I have much to learn.
I am loved.

These are the thoughts that will be taking center stage. Truth. God’s thoughts about me. How precious to me are Your thoughts, O God.

And if I find myself becoming consumed again by what the world might think of me?? Back to the fast I will go. Our lives here are but a breath. And because of this fast, I can’t stand the thought of wasting one spare second on what another photographer/wife/mom/child of God/person might be thinking. Learning and growing and discovering from others is a wonderful thing, and that I will continue. Comparing and criticizing and judging myself is not and that will stop.

I might be the only one who struggles with this, but just in case I’m not, I am putting this here for all to see. There is a verse from a song by Francessa Battistelli that I will leave you with..

“Don’t take much for this crazy world to rob me of my peace.
And the enemy of my soul says You’re holding out on me.
So I stand here lifting empty hands for you to fill me up again..”

I allowed social media to rob me of my peace. Are you??

With lots and lots of love.. Sarah.